Tere Tere, Vana Kere (final solution to the magpie problem)

3MAGPIES

The magpie problem has been increasing of late. Other than in Barcelona Airport car park (where I counted five) I’ve been so many lone magpies it’s almost led me to restart my online magpie dating agency. Unfortunately this would exacerbate the situation exponentially with all those photos of desperate single magpies.

Worse still it was not until a few weeks ago I first encountered a real live magpie in Tallinn, before this the only evidence of Estonian magpies I had observed were the five graffiti magpies at the top of the stairs on Linnahall. Then I spotted one, flying alone down Ristiku, and the same one again the next day in the same place. As if that were not bad enough, later that night, on my way to the Tallinn Music Academy Christmas Ball, I saw this watercolour (above, duplicated & augmented) of a single magpie in the window of an art shop, just across the road from NuKu. What kind of sick, twisted mind not only paints a lone magpie but then allows it to be displayed publicly? Spreading misery and sorrow to unsuspecting passers by.

I am completely against the thought of ever having a tattoo, but these recent events have led me to consider having two magpies inked onto my left palm. This way I can always turn sorrow into a girl, if you ken what I mean. For the moment I think I might carry a picture of two magpies, see how it works out. Perhaps I should simply avoid gaming the signal and tweaking the probabilities, after all I see five magpies quite often and I don’t think I can keep so many secrets.